A New Schnikism: Wishing.

Have you ever wished for something, some outcome, some moment of reality, some happy moment, some validation that all the moments of pain you’ve felt for any amount of time was worth it? That some happy ending would find you? And then landed hard upon the reality that the happy ending that you had been…

A New Schnikism: Tired

This is a poem from my recently completed collection of Poems. I wish I knew some way of getting it published. Tired Everyone in my life expects me to be so strong, and I am. I’ve been holding on so long that my muscles feel like they’re about to break. I just keep pushing on…

A New Schnikism: An Open Letter and An Open Heart

Dear You, Thank you for always being there. Thank you for holding my hand for all this time, even when I was pulling away, retreating, isolating, yelling, screaming, and even blaming you. Thank you for reminding me what true friendship was, and inspiring me to remember how much we’ve been through and that our love…

A New Schnikism – The Art of the Choice

The truth is, I used to be angry at people who said that happiness was a choice. That you could just “choose” to be happy every day. And to a point, I still feel that it’s not a choice – not in the least – to choose to be sad or choose to be happy….

A New Schnikism: Am I Alone?

The short answer? No. The long answer…. Well, sort of. And maybe that’s ok. The long answer is much more nuanced and detailed. No. I’m not alone, not really. One of the things I probably struggle with the most is being alone. I’m a person who is fueled by human interaction, social interaction, friendships, relationships,…

A New Schnikism: A Continuation

This is a continuation of my previous rant post. It is interesting to think about how people in the pinnacle of their moment, when the thing they’re been training for their whole lives, when they’ve perservered through it all to get to the top of their chosen path, that is the moment they choose to…

A New Schnikism: Caring is (Over)Sharing

“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, and more unashamed conversation.”  Glenn Close Yes. The struggle is real. Some people have commented that I lead a very private public life. Or is it that I lead a very public private life. Either way, I’ve been told that I shouldn’t share this stuff, the…

A New Schnikism: Erase Records, Write Histories

You guys are like Butch and Sundance, peering over the edge of a cliff to the bolder-filled rapids 300 feet below thinking you better not jump because you might drown. C.J. Craig (Via Aaron Sorkin, The West Wing) Erase Records, Write Histories. I’ve had that phrase in my head for many months, almost 2 years….

Today’s Jam: You Are Not Alone…… Honest

Sometimes, a song catches you so off guard that your visceral reaction to it makes you catch your breath as it’s ripped from your lungs. This was one of those songs. I know I’m not alone out here, but sometimes it feels that way. (As I was writing this, another song just blew through me…