I’ve had an interesting day. Sure I did some of the normal things: shopping, moving boxes, preparing for the next week, the usual things. Those aren’t the interesting parts of my day, I won’t bore you with those details, (I know, usual, right?)
Today I was invited to go to church with some friends. Normally, I would roll my eyes, say thank you, and politely decline. Something told me I should go. I had so much other stuff to do, I could have easily spent my time in other haunts, but today, it just felt like a good idea. Besides, it gave me a chance to hang out with these friends.
I got distracted and when I looked at the clock, I realized that I only had a few minutes to get ready and out the door, so out I went, got in the car, and made my way to the church, parked in the back forty acres and made my way into the church. The Church was HUGE. It had super auditorium seating. Enough about that, normally my attendance, while rare, wouldn’t incite a blog post, but the message. This was pretty strange for me. The message was about isolation vs. community. Hmm.
Some of you may know, I’m going through some rough patches lately, my natural defense is to look inside, sort it out, find the logical answers, deal with the good and the bad and make light of it. Seems easy enough, right? Sure. Normally that works for me. Lately it’s worked, sort of, sure I’m a little downtrodden, but I’m getting over it. Sure, I may be spending some extra time in my head. Maybe guarding myself a little more than usual. I know some of you have noticed it. I know you care, I appreciate it, I do. Do I know how to ask for help, I do; do I know when to ask for help, I do; I think. Sure, I may be burdened, but I don’t want to burden others with it. I know, some of you would easily handle it. I know some of you would really be helpful, I get that.
Anyways, Listening to the message today at church, I spent a considerable amount of time wondering why the pastor was talking to me and my situation? Why do I choose to barricade myself off when I’m feeling a little stressed/overwhelmed. I don’t have a good answer to that question. I just know that I’m feeling a little out of sorts. Why I chose this day to go to church or why the church chose this day to give this particular sermon, I could say I don’t know, I could also say that there was some greater plan involved. Neither one of those do I know for certain are the case. I’ll just say this, I’m holding my head above water, I’m holding on with both hands right now, and it seems that someone/something/somehow, was speaking to me today, I listened, I’m still listening, and I’m still here. And I’m still doing alright, really.