This is me and I’m never enough…

It’s taken me forever, but I finally saw The Greatest Showman. Though I’ve heard much of the music before, there are two songs that have reverberated throughout my psyche. I think we all share some of the same themes that are portrayed in this movie.

So many demons and voices hide within our darkness. The shame we feel inside, pressured by other’s expectations or even our own “should” and “musts” –

If I don’t do this, I’m not good enough. I should be able to persevere in the face of the most unbearable adversity. I have to be strong for this person. I need to sacrifice myself to make others feel better.

Instead, we spend so much time telling us why we’re not good enough, why other’s expectations, feelings, and/or dreams are infinitely more important than our own. Then, when we put our foot down and claim what’s necessary for us to be successful, to stand on our own two feet, we’re being selfish.

I’m here to tell you, it’s ok to be someone else’s version of selfish, it’s ok to protect yourself: your well being, your strength, and your heart.

There’s no coincidence in The Greatest Showman that the two songs, “Never Enough” and “This is me” are back to back. The lesson I’ve chosen to learn from my recent obsession with these two songs is that it is perfectly fine to be Never Enough for someone else, as long as you’re willing to plant your feet and say: This is me – Take it or leave it.

In case you’ve got no idea what I’m talking about when I reference the two aforementioned songs:

Never Enough:

All the shine of a thousand spotlights
All the stars we steal from the night sky
Will never be enough
Never be enough
Towers of gold are still too little
These hands could hold the world but it’ll
Never be enough

This Is Me:

I’m not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
‘Cause we don’t want your broken parts
I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one will love you as you are

But I won’t let them break me down to dust
I know that there’s a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I’m meant to be, this is me
Look out ’cause here I come
And I’m marching on to the beat I drum
I’m not scared to be seen

I make no apologies, this is me.

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