This is a poem from my recently completed collection of Poems. I wish I knew some way of getting it published.
Everyone in my life expects me to be so strong, and I am.
I’ve been holding on so long that my muscles feel like they’re about to break.
I just keep pushing on until I find steady ground.
I don’t know how to let go.
I don’t know how to live.
I think I’ve always known who I am;
But I have never been able to find myself.
I’m tired of learning these lessons,
I’m tired of feeling empty,
I’m tired of being the only one I can count on.
I’m tired of feeling hurt,
I’m tired of wondering why.
I’m tired of being afraid of falling,
I’m tired of being afraid to fly.
I’m tired of seeking the shallow,
I’m tired of never seeing the bottom,
I’m tired of feeling this hollow,
I’m tired of reaching the sky.
When will this be real?
When will I find my fate?
When will release this hate?
Will it be when I rise above?
Will it be when I reach heaven’s gate?
Will it be when I find that love?
Will it be when I am I peace?
Will it be when the voices cease?
When will I finally be released?
Must I learn that tonight
I have clearly found for all this time
I must find another soul
Someone I can trust again
There’s never been a force
Stronger than the belief in good
Then one who has always seen
Who has been a strong devotee?
Of the truth, the beauty, and the love
In this world
That hope and strength will
Carry us through
That those who have been closest to you
Have selfishly taken all they wanted
And demanded you give it all up
That you let them free of their guilt
That you let yourself free of their guilt
That you quit searching for answers
That you change everything about you
That you’ll never know how to make yourself whole
Just to appease and cleanse their soul.