A New Schnikism: (Poetry Series) The Perfect Li(f)e

This is my story, 

which is quite normal. 

At the midpoint of my life, I had it all.

A beautiful man, 

A ring upon my finger, 

A lovely home, 

A great job, 

an epic collection of friends… 

From the outside, 

it was a perfect life.

From the inside, 

It was the perfect lie, 

Inside I was dying.

For most of my life, 

I play the part. 

The part everyone else wanted me to play. 

The man I was groomed to be. 

The picture of an unflappable man,

reaching for perfection.

To work harder,

to be smarter, 

to live greater, 

to reach for more, 

Upon these wings, 

I will soar. 

to always be the vision of happiness. 

to never again show these scars, 

to never be afraid of these tears, 

to embrace these inner most fears, 

I will be stronger, 

to be more forgiving, 

to be resolute within, 

to stand up for everyone else, 

even when one must stand alone. 

No matter how it puts myself at great peril,

I will always stand up for those who cannot stand on their own.

I will no longer turn a blind eye to those who have harmed me,

Instead I will continue to embrace them,

I will continue to smile,

I will continue to relate,

I will continue to embrace serenity,

I will continue to embrace tranquility,

I will be as calm as the sea,

on a day without wind.

I will do no harm,

And accept no harm to come to me.

I will accept you as you are,

I will accept it if you remain afar,

For these are the ways I am supposed to me.

This is the way I should be.

This is the way you’ve always wanted me to be.

These are your dreams.

These are your commands.

This is who you wanted me to be.

This is who I will be to you,

Forever and ever again.

You don’t want me to change.

You didn’t want me to grow.

So here I am,

Rooted and planted,

Cold and forgiving,

Peaceful and serene,

This is the life I accept

Who I am to be.

Loveless, yet full of love for others,

The beacon of happiness, yet sad in my heart,

Surrounded by people, feeling alone all the time,

This is how you wanted me to be,

This is who you groomed me to be,

This is the outcome you’ve always wanted.

So you get your way.

And here I stay.

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