A New Schnikism: (Poetry Series) This is How I Rise

I am strong enough,

           I keep trying to be stronger every day.

I am loved deeply,

           I keep telling myself this so I don’t lose the horizon.

I am hopeful every day,

           I keep wishing if I say it enough, I will believe it.

I am greater than my mistakes,

           I keep trying to make amends.

I am happy to be alive,

           I keep focusing on each and every sunrise and sunset.

I have love for all others,

           I keep trying to believe there is no one who wishes me harm.

I give my love without expectations,

           I keep believing that some day I will find that true love again.

I am a god who is among gods and goddesses,

           I keep reminding myself of my most awesome powers.

I am strong enough to place the weight of your world upon my shoulders.

           I keep remembering that I am not a normal man with a normal life.

I am tired of holding on; Yet, I cannot let you go.

I keep on in belief that one day I will get to see your face again and experience the light of love that you shined upon me once again.

When will I ever learn?

           When will this lesson be over?

These are the characteristics I will always believe in,

I have a spirit that soars above many.

I have a light that shines brighter than anyone would ever know.

I have a power to see and feel through things that are left unsaid.

This is the absolute center of what I believe:

We all,

At our core,

Are just and caring people.

That humanity is humane.

That love is a superpower,

We mortals possess in,

Vast insurmountable qualities.

That when we are faced,

With our greatest fears,

In our most difficult moments,

That we can lean on,

That we can count on,

The greatest of all things:

           LOVE.

Not “tough love” but LOVE.

The truest of love.

Love in the form of grace.

Love in the form of mercy.

Love in the form of support.

Love in the form of safety.

Love in the form of refuge.

Love in the form of a comforting hand on one’s shoulder.

Alone I’ve walked on this journey.

As most of the world stood on the sidelines.

As I was shunned, shamed, filmed, and attacked.

In the times when I was most alone.

When I needed safety the most.

Those I love the deepest,

Hurt me the most.

As I watched time and time again.

As I was kicked over and over again.

As I laid there dying on the floor.

As I sat there dying in my car.

As I laid there, hoping to die in that field.

None of these moments, did anyone love me enough to just be honest with me.

In none of these moments, did I find a helpful hand. So in this moment, I take my final stand.

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