Schnikisms

It still pains me,
That there isn’t a day that goes by,
That what I am certain we were,
Doesn’t cross my mind,
I am sorry you met me,
The me that was beautifully destroyed,
The me that was deeply flawed,
But the me who I am,
That me loved you,
That me held my heart open,
That me made us space,
That me was so afraid,
That me is still so afraid,
That what we were will never grace my heart again.
Afraid to unlock my heart again,
Afraid to let down those walls,
I see you in every face,
I hear you in other’s voices,
I feel you in the silence,
I am still beautifully broken,
These words flow forth,
Yet, now, because of my shyness,
Because of my scars,
They go unspoken.

So many days,
So many experiences,
So many times,
I just want to hold you,
I just want to be held by you,
I just want to kiss you,
I just want to find you,
I just want you to find me,
For you to tell me everything will be alright,
And I will know,
When I do,
That the truest of dreams,
The greatest of hopes,
This love that exudes from my heart,
It will be true.
Even if it’s not you.